Obituary of Francis “Frank” McCarthy

Welcome. If you’re reading this, chances are your life has been touched by my brother, Frank. I’m his ‘lil sis’ Sheila Frank was/is a warm, and loving son/brother/friend/employee/citizen of the world, and he gave/gives us many reasons to celebrate life in general. So that’s what we are going to do  Details of the Celebration of Frank’s Life The family will be having a celebration of Frank’s life, (rather than a viewing), Sunday 1/19/20, from 4pm-6pm. Wear anything that would make you feel comfortable and like yourself. (Your enjoyment/comfort would for sure be a priority to Frank.) The first hour will be filled with pictures of Frank throughout his life and music playing that he liked to jam out to. If you have pictures you’d like to share that would be awesome! You can either bring them Sunday or email them to me sheilabm.csc@gmail.com. I’m looking forward to hearing your favorite, “Can I be Frank?” stories from the time you got to spend with him. For the second hour we will hear from those who wish to share. And after that, I wouldn’t be surprised if an impromptu ‘after party’ broke out with interested folks going out together to a local establishment. We’d love to hear from you~ anytime You have probably had many good times with Frank. But you may not live locally or if you do, you may not feel as comfortable would like with public speaking. No worries, if you would like to have something said on your behalf on Sunday (for any reason—meaning whether you are present or not), please email me, sheilabm.csc@gmail.com and I’d be happy to share your words with those gathered. Likewise you could express your sentiments in the condolences section for all to see. On Sunday, anyone can decide to speak, it’ll all be a very relaxed and fun conversation. Because we are gathering to celebrate his life, I think it might be of interest to you for me to share the loved-filled, wonder-full experience I had with him as he was passing. My story of that is below. I’m so looking forward to learning more about my brother from the perspectives of others and to the enjoyable gathering on Sunday  ~~~ Frank’s Peaceful, Wonder-full Passing As Frank’s lil sis, I had a front row seat to his lively sense of humor. So, to me, it’s just like Frank to ‘pull a fast one’ by quickly slipping from this world into the next. I can imagine that as his physical experience quickly shifted from uncomfortable to intolerable and prevented him from having a light-hearted, jolly experience, that he signaled ‘check please’. Last Thursday night he had checked himself into a Vitas facility for symptom management/care. All the staff were so warm and attentive, and I saw him start to relax a bit into being the one that was being cared for (usually he was the one doing the care giving). On Sunday evening, he’d been having a bit of discomfort and restlessness, but he was being soothed by the efforts of his nurses and myself. And then…it was a simple as… one moment, he was being assisted by two wonderful and warm nurses from his chair to his bed, and the next moment he was relaxing into peace and grace. I feel so fortunate to have been there to see all the tension in him dissolve, and his eyes and face take on a boyish, bright, curious, glow that still does my heart good to think about it, because I had the sense that whatever he was experiencing was so wonder-full. Then the nurses, gently placed him on the bed.  And, as he was surrounded by his caregivers and myself, he breathed  a few  final, soft, small breaths, while I reminded him how much he is loved and shared other heart-felt sentiments, and all the while, a warm glow and a palpable sense of peace and well-being surrounded us all and filled the room. And I can feel it still. What a gift that my ever-thoughtful, loving brother gave to me by allowing me to share in that experience. And I’m sharing it now with you all, in the hopes it may lift your spirits and be a touchstone for you. And now, even though I know technically that Frank is no longer in physical form, his generous, funny, talented personality still feels so very alive to me. I hope you find that to be your experience as well. Please consider sending a donation to:  gf.me/u/w8wz3w Warmest regards, Sheila McCarthy Sieusankar And the whole McCarthy Family