Friday, October 31, 2014
Dear Craig:
One of my first memories was a vacation our family took to a cottage on a pristine lake in Michigan in the summer of 1957. On a warm, Saturday morning we were relaxing on the dock, dressed in swim suits and robes. As a school of minnows swam by, you jumped into the lake, robe and all, and began chasing them. Although capturing any was a hopeless quest, you were willing to try.
As the years passed, and challenges came and went, we addressed them as well as we could. Do you remember how our mother “volunteered” us to play piano duets for early morning church services? Perhaps our playing drums in the band or singing in the church choir? With the Beatles craze, we were going to be the next hot rock band, you on the drums and me tingling the ivories. However, as members of the “Marijuana Brass”, we did manage to take second place in a high school talent show.
We were both going to be Eagle scouts, but fell several merit badges short. Junior year found us trying to be baseball stars, making the JV squad. As a senior, you made the football team. However, your high school highlight had to be when you were the lead in the play “Rest Assured” as Mr. Morlock. Such success in trying!
I do remember us being die hard sports fans. First there were the Detroit Tigers. We had suffered for so many years when they finally won the pennant in 1968. However, in the World Series, they found themselves down three games to one and trailing 3 to 1 early in the fifth game. We all knew they were doomed. But you held fast. Don’t know if it was stubborness or faith, but you even bet a fellow student that the Tigers would win the series. We all thought you were crazy. The following years have shown, as this instance did, that if you have belief and stick with it, no matter the odds, you always have a fighting chance.
After high school and college, in the 70’s, we found jobs and enjoyed some “debauchery”, mostly in your house trailer. You decided that home life with the folks was driving you crazy and moved out. You were willing to give living on your own a try.
Over the years, one the biggest challenges you faced was your relationship with cars. One of the many was a Chevette. It was a cold, January evening, 1975, the day after a huge snow storm. I was in the trailer sleeping. You came rushing in, demanding I get up and help you get your car out of the snow. For some reason, you thought you could get into the parking lot the back way, but instead became hopelessly stuck. You had the faith to try, but the snow was much too deep.
The years passed. We both got married and moved apart. We still managed to enjoy Michigan football games and band concerts together, poker games, and even being part of a bowling team for a season. Still, the passing years found us more involved with our new families and less with each other. Then circumstances arose that drove us even further apart. There were several lean years. For a while it seemed we would never be able to mend the fences. However, with the death of parents, and the wisdom that comes with advancing years, we re-established communication. The marvels of technology allowed us, through texting, to keep in touch on a daily basis. We had come back to a place we had long thought had passed. We could now entertain each other with trivia, share rants on sports, argue politics: Just like the good old days. I’ll always be thankful for that. In the end, our relationship was as strong as it had ever been.
In your last week, as you clung so stubbornly to life, I knew that you had the will to survive. However, I also knew you would not want to continue on if it meant being bedridden and being unable to fend for yourself. So, when the time came, you chose to end your life with dignity and grace, the way you would have wanted. In speaking with your wife Kathy after you had gone, she was mentioning how you were most likely speaking with our biological mother, or maybe even our adoptive parents, while looking down at us from Heaven. I could only think to myself that knowing you the way I do, that would have been the “last” thing you would have been willing to try.
Love,
Colby
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